Through Pain And Tears
by SeiferAlmasy'sLover86
Summary: Ever since Seifer got back, he's been depressed and lonely. Some people aren't happy that he's returned. Will there be any hope for the tall blond? Can anyone help Seifer? Zell Dincht/Seifer Almasy pairing. Rated: M
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Through Pain And Tears  
**Pairing:** ZellxSeifer  
**Rated:** M  
**Warnings:** Yaoi, sexual assault, abuse, violence, self-harm, rape, consensual (Later), OOC  
**Disclaimer: **I Don't own Final Fantasy VIII. It belongs to Square Enix  
**Summary:** Ever since Seifer got back, he's been depressed and lonely. Some people aren't happy that he's returned. Will there be any hope for the tall blond? Can anyone help Seifer?  
**Word Count:** 4,018  
**Author's Notes:** Well, here's something I came up with. I think It's a little darker than I usually do. I had posted it on Adultfanfiction, too, but I figured I'd go ahead and post it here as well, and see what you all think of this story so far. And I hope you enjoy what I've written so far! Reviews are more than welcome.

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Seifer sighed and walked into the training center. He was feeling down, which he has been feeling for quite some time now... so more often than not, he found himself in the training center. It had been a year since he's been back in Garden.

Ever since he came back, he just wasn't himself. He knew the others realized it, too; it was hard not to. He didn't associate much. The only one he really even talked to was Zell. Zell use to hate him, but they have grown closer. Zell—the only one Seifer opened up to, really. Well, maybe not completely, but a lot. Nobody knew how he really felt, though. He didn't want to drag others into his personal problems... especially Zell.

He continued just walking around the training center, thinking. He didn't really come here to fight anything; he came just to get out of his room a little bit. So, he comes here to think often. He has been like this ever since he returned. He mostly kept to himself.

He sat down in the secret area. People really didn't come to this part of the training center. They mostly just came for fighting. Which suited the blond just fine. He wanted to be alone anyway. Being here alone helped him think, though. He thought mostly about his life and what he was doing. He didn't know. Also, Zell would cross his mind an awful lot, too. And he knew exactly why that was. One of the main reasons he came back was because he missed Zell.

No one knew of his feelings for the shorter blond, which was just fine with him. He didn't really care. He knew nothing would come of his feelings. He knew they wouldn't be returned, so why bother saying anything at all? There was no point, Seifer knew.

What a messed up life he had... pining away for a guy he use to tease and harass. Seifer frowned. He hated thinking so damn much. He knew Zell wouldn't like him that way... plus, last he heard, he had a girlfriend, confirming his assumption. When he heard the news of Zell being taken, he was jealous and hurt. His girlfriend didn't like him, though. Not that he gave a shit if she liked him or not. But, it stung when he said he had a girlfriend. They always hung around each other, making the scarred blond even more jealous.

He sighed. He hated where his thought process was going. This is the kind of thinking he'd like to avoid. It just hurts to know that Zell is with someone else. And, besides, not like he had any other friends here anyway, aside from Zell...

He closed his eyes and let out a bitter chuckle. Fuck, he was pathetic. He hated how weak he'd become now. He shook his head. Not like it can be helped. He hated his life.

He got up and dusted himself off. Grabbing his trench coat, he walked out of the secret area. He just wanted to go to bed... to stop thinking for a while. As he was walking back, he spotted a couple of people watching his movements, making Seifer weary. He hated being stared at, being watched. He decided to ignore them in favor of getting to his room, so he just walked right past him, noticing a couple more men. Seifer was starting to get a bad feeling, though, because he knew that some people still hated him.. and he's been attacked more than once.

"Where do you think you're going, lapdog?" a snarky voice said, stopping him.

Seifer just looked at him and the others and just decided to ignore them.

"Hey, I'm talkin' to you," the male said again, advancing him.

Seifer knew this wasn't going to go well. He knew where this was gonna lead. He didn't stand a chance with four men there. "And?" he decided to say.

"Huh, so the little lapdog has a mouth on him."

Seifer rolled his eyes and scoffed. "I'm leaving." He tried to walk off, but the man grabbed his arm.

"They shouldn't of let someone like you back in Garden, you know." The guy glared at him, sneering.

"Yeah, you're not welcome here. Traitor!" snapped the other male. Seifer cringed at their words.

"You're nothing but a coward. They should've let you die instead of letting you back in," the guy smirked, loving to cause pain to him. He twisted Seifer's arm a little, making Seifer wince.

"Why couldn't you have just stayed away? Nobody would care. Nobody wants a fuckin' traitor around."

"Shut up," Seifer said, glaring. He hissed when his arm was yanked. It was night so nobody was around.

"What was that?" the guy snarled, nodding his head at his friends. "We're gonna show you what we do to traitors, lapdog!" And before he knew it, he was being punched in the face, hard, knocking him down. "What do you say guys? Should we teach him a lesson. Make him suffer?"

They all nodded and Seifer's eyes grew wide. Seifer started fighting back, throwing a right hook and clocking him in the jaw. He kicked the other and then the other two grabbed him before he could do anything. "Fuck off!" he growled.

"You really shouldn't have done that." The other guy smirked. He punched Seifer in the stomach and then again and then in the jaw. His eyes roamed over Seifer's body.

Seifer tried to fight, but it was in vain, as they had him, holding him down. "Let me go."

"Hmm. Nope. I don't think we will." They all dragged Seifer back in the training center area. "Like I said, we're gonna show you what we do with traitors."

The gunblader struggled. "Fuck you!" That earned him a kick to his ribs, effectively shutting him up. Hyne, that hurt.

The guy smirked cruelly at him, making his way towards him. "I think it's fuck you."

And then Seifer got extremely worried. He grabbed Seifer and kneed him in the stomach. The other two held him tight. And the other one helped him beat Seifer.

Seifer was coughing up blood by this point. He just wanted it to end. For them to stop. But they didn't look like they were going to any time soon. "L-let m-me g-go," Seifer whimpered, feeling every bit of what they was doing. And considering it was more than one, it was worse. He was in so much pain. "Please...?"

"Aw, listen to that; he's begging us." They all laughed at that.

Seifer's breathing was irregular nd his was clutching at his stomach, laying on the ground. "We're not done yet. We still have other things to do to you."

Seifer didn't care at this point. He was so tired and beat. He spit up more blood. "Wh-hat?"

All he got was a smirk and cruel laughter. He started towards him. "This is less then you deserve you whore!" he spat and aimed a very hard kick to his side, making Seifer lightly scream out. He looked at his friends, who all nodded at him.

Seifer was dizzy and out of it. He never even noticed when his attacker took off his pants. Seifer opened his eyes and blinked, startled. He saw that the guy was removing his pants, and he got wide eyes. "Now, you see. You hurt others and now we're gonna hurt you." With that, he grabbed the blond and started taking his pants off, Seifer trying his hardest to struggle. "Get over here and hold him."

They did as they were told. Seifer was laying on his stomach now, the guy behind him. Seifer had no pants, and he could feel this guy's erection on his ass. It made him sick. His head was smacked on the floor, making him see stars. He gave up trying. He knew there was no way out of this. He accepted this.

He could feel the guy pressing into him and he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth to the massive pain he felt. He let out a particularly loud scream when he shoved it in all the way. He heard them all laughing at him. He tried to block it out, but it didn't work. The guy on top of him was pounding into him without a care. He could feel blood coming out of him.

"Mm, you feel good. Nice and tight," he moaned, loving the pain in caused the hurting man. "You guys are gonna love it."

Seifer couldn't stop the tears that came out of his eyes. This was so much pain... it was unbearable. The guy orgasmsed inside him, pounding extra hard, riding it out. He sighed. "Okay, who's next?"

They all took turns with Seifer, each pounding was vicious. All four men had their turn. "We'll be seeing you around, lapdog." They all laughed and walked out, Seifer sighing in relief. It was over now; that was all that mattered to Seifer. He tried to sit up, but whimpered pathetically when he tried, tears coming out of his eyes. He hurt so much. Did he deserve this?

"Zell," He whimpered, wishing the blond was here. He had blood coming out of his mouth and his ass, and he started sobbing, not able to hold it in anymore. He knew he needed help, but there was no one around, and he really didn't want anyone seeing him like this, either. He closed his eyes, feeling tired...

* * *

The gang was at the lunch table, enjoying their lunches. "Man, I sure hungry," Zell grinned at stuffed hotdogs into his mouth. His girlfriend shook her head.

"Zell, honey, must you eat like that?" she asked, giving him a look.

"Yep," he nodded with a smile.

"It's what he does," Selphie added, grinning. She didn't really like Zell's girlfriend. She seemed bossy. But he seemed happy.

"Hn," was Squall's agreement, sitting beside Irvine, who only nodded.

"Hey. Did you hear what happened to Seifer?" said a voice at the next table.

The whole gang froze, wondering what he was talking about. Zell even stopped in his eating at the mention of Seifer. "No, what?" the girl next to him asked, looking every bit the curious.

"He got attacked last night!"

The gangs jaw dropped.

"What?!"

"Yeah, by four guys, I heard."

Squall's eyes narrowed. Seifer? Attacked? He and Seifer may not see eye to eye all the time, or get along too much, but they were still friends.

"WHAT?!" Zell exploded. Outraged. Everyone in the cafeteria jumped at this, but the short blond hardly cared. He faced the duo, looking serious. "Who did it?"

"W-we don't know. I just heard it," he stuttered. "He's in the infirmary now, though."

Zell nodded, still fuming. "Okay. I'm gonna go."

"I'll go, too," Marlene stated.

"No. I'll see you later." And he was off.

"Aww, pour Seifey. Why would they do that to him?!" Selphie was pissed.

"I don't know," Irvine said.

"I'm gonna figure out who did this." And he would, too. Squall got up and decided to leave.

"Ugh," Seifer moaned, body aching.

"Seifer?"

He blinked when he heard someone say his name."Zell?" He almost whimpered when he moved.

"Yeah..." He looked down at the figure known as Seifer Almasy. He looked so beat and hurt. "Howya feeling?"

"Pain," was his one worded answer.

"I kinda figured that," the martial artist rolled his eyes. "So... who did this?"

"...I don't know..."

"Liar. Don't lie, Seifer. I know you know who did this to you," Zell gave him a look.

Seifer snapped at him. "Why are you here?"

"Because we're friends. I'm worried about you," he stated simply.

"Shouldn't you be with-"

"Zelly!" his girlfriend's voice called out to him, causing Seifer to scowl.

"You better go."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Zell looked hurt. But sighed.

"Yes." Seifer didn't want him to go. He wanted Zell to stay here with him. But, he didn't want Zell to know how he feels and start avoiding him. He liked Zell's company.

"Seifer?"

"Squall?" He was surprised to see the brunet here. "What're you doing here?"

"I came to see if you were okay. I heard what happened. Who did it?" He asked that part coldly.

"I don't wanna talk about it right now," he finally said. He was too embarrassed. What would they think of him after knowing what happened to him?

"Seifer-"

"Please?"

Squall knew he didn't wanna talk right now, so he let it go for now. "Fine. But we will talk later."

The blond lying down nodded. "Sure."

"Seifer-"

"Zell, are you coming?" she asked impatiently, as if she didn't want him near Seifer, which she didn't. Seifer glared.

"Yeah..." Zell gave Seifer a concerned look. "I'm sorry this happened. When I find out-"

"Zell, don't worry about it. It's over and done with."

"But, how can you say that? Look what they did to you?" His voice was getting higher.

"I said it's fine."

The smaller man opened his mouth, but closed it. How could he say that? He shook his head at him. "Alright," he relented... for now. Mostly cause Seifer was beat. "I'll see ya later."

As soon as Zell was out of his room, he let some of his tears fall. He wanted him to stay—wanted to tell him who did this, but he couldn't. He didn't wanna bring anyone into his mess. He covered his face, trying to stifle the sobs that wanted to escape.

Zell...

* * *

A week later and Seifer was out, feeling much better than he had. The doctor knew exactly what happened to him, but he had asked her to not say anything to anyone. His problems were his own; he didn't want to drag other people into them.

"Hey, Seifer. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Zell." Seifer smiled at him, which quickly turned into a frown when he noticed who was with him.

She glared at him and huffed. "See? He's fine."

Zell shook his head. "You didn't know that, Marlene."

"Whatever. Can we go now?" She honestly didn't care whether he was or not.

The blond sighed. "Fine. Guess I'll see you later, Seifer."

"Yeah," was the soft whisper.

She glared as they left.

"What a bitch, huh?"

Seifer's head snapped over to Irvine. "W-what?"

"I said she's a bitch." Irvine stated. Turning serious he asked, "how are you?"

"I'm good. Sore, but good."

"Hm, that's good you're doing better. So, what were you and Zell talking about?"

"Nothin'. Just asking if I was fine.": Though, if it wasn't for his bitch of a girlfriend, he might of said more.

"Oh, I see. She dragged him away, huh?"

Seifer nodded. "She hates me." He sighed, looking at Irvine.

"You like him, don't you?" Irvine decided to be blunt. He had noticed Seifer staring at Zell a lot.

"S-say, w-what?" Seifer was shocked by his bluntness. "No!"

"Yes you do. I can see it."

"What's it to you? He doesn't want me, so what does it matter?" the taller man growled. "I'm leaving." He walked off, knowing that he just gave himself away. Not like it mattered anymore.

* * *

Seifer sat by himself in the cafeteria and ate his lunch. He was looking over at another table where Zell was, eating with his girlfriend. He sighed and tried to focus on something else, not wanting to think about Zell and her. The tall man gritted his teeth and just stabbed at his food. He didn't much feeling like eating; too many thoughts running through his mind lately. Mostly; about what had had happened to him, would happen to him again. And about Zell.

"Seifer?" a soft voice said, causing Seifer to blink. He never heard Squall sound like that before.

"Squall," he greeted.

"How have you been?" he decided to ask, honestly curious.

"Better," the taller man supplied as an answer.

He saw Leonhart nod. "Good. So, who did this to you? I need to know."

"Don't worry about it, Squall. It's over and done with now." Though he didn't really believe what he was saying.

"Look, I have to know. This can't happen," the lithe boy said firmly. "That kind of behavior isn't allowed towards anyone residing in garden."

Seifer knew he was right, but still refused to say anything. "I said it didn't matter." He didn't mean to sound cold, but it was getting on his nerves. He just wanted it to be dropped and not mentioned again.

"Hn," Squall scowled. Seifer was being stubborn. He knew the boy wouldn't openly tell him just like that. "Fine. How many were involved?" was his next query.

"Four," Seifer decided to say. It didn't hurt to tell him that much.

Squall's eyes narrowed. Oh, he'd find out. He couldn't let something like this go by unpunished. Nobody deserved that shit, even Seifer. "What did they do to you?"

Seifer sighed, getting annoyed. He was sick of all this questioning. And, he really didn't wanna bring it up. What they did to him... Seifer shrugged. "The usual. Just beat the shit out of me and said I didn't belong here and I should be dead." He left the other part out. He wanted to be left alone right now. He looked back at Zell, noticing the hyper boy was giving him glances as well.

"I see," Squall said, coldly.

"Hey, Squall."

"Irvine," he nodded.

"Well, I'm gonna go." Seifer was starting to feel uncomfortable. He got up and walked off without looking back.

"Hm, that was strange," Irvine said, cocking his head to the side. "Any luck?"

"No," he frowned, thinking.

"Ah. Well, you know Seifer, he don't like opening up to anyone."

Squall agreed with a nod, knowing Irvine was right.

"Zell? Where are you headed?"

"Oh... Marlene... I was just gonna go to the training center," Zell answered, pointing in that direction.

"Oh... Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my room tonight?" she asked with a smile.

Zell paused to think about it. He really wanted to get some training in. Ever since he'd started dating her, he hadn't been going to the training center much, opting instead to spend time with his girlfriend, who he'd been dating for several months. "Well, that sounds good, but I really just wanted to get some training in."

She scowled a little. "Fine," she sighed. "Go get your training in."

"Okay!" He placed a light kiss on her cheek. "I'll catch ya later." The blond waved and then was off, her watching him as he went.

Zell turned back and noticed her gaze on him. He watched her wave and walk off. He sighed. He continued his trek towards the training center, sighing as he did so. Zell didn't know how he put up with his girlfriend sometimes; he figured it was because he loved her and all. She always seemed to want to keep him to herself. Not that he had a problem with that per-say, but he did have friends, and he'd like to be able to hang out with them.

But he had realized that she would always be there, or tag along with him when he went somewhere. He wanted his space, but didn't wanna hurt her feelings by telling her so. Seriously, ever since he's started dating her, he was seeing less and less of his friends than he use to. Yeah, he understood that couples needed their time, but come on, you have to have time apart, too. With her, he did kind of feel constricted.

He sighed, shaking his head from his thoughts. He had arrived at the training center, having almost past it because of his inner monologue. Hyne, he was becoming like Squall. That though made him chuckle.

He opened the doors to the training center and walked inside. As he walked further inside, he saw his first monster and went at it. A little further into the training center, he heard footsteps. Curious, Zell proceeded to check it out and see who it was.

"Zell?"

That voice shocked him. "S-Seifer? What are you doing here?"

"That was my question." He eyed the shorter blond. "I never see you in here this late."

"Oh... well, I decided I needed to work out a little," he shrugged. He paused, thinking. "How do you know?"

"Uh, well," Seifer started, clearing his throat. "I usually come here when it's passed hours."

Needless to say. Zell was stunned. "Why only then?"

All he got was a shrug. "I don't know."

"Hm. Well, since we're both here, wanna spar?" the shorter man grinned.

Seifer loved Zell's smiles. He looked so damn good. "Sure." And they did.

Zell noticed that Seifer was slacking in their friendly spar, which was so unlike the Seifer he knew. Seifer usually gave it his all. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Seifer waved away his concern.

He didn't look fine, Zell noted. He saw Seifer sweating and panting hard, and was instantly concerned. "I think we should stop now."

"Why? Think I can't handle it?" Seifer was irritated. He could fucking handle it.

"No... no.. it's just...you look tired... and worn out," he observed.

"I'm fine, Dincht. Don't worry about me," Seifer shook his head, feeling a little light headed.

"You keep saying that. I can see you need help, though." He saw Seifer's eye flash.

"No. I don't need anything," the bigger blond stated. "Look, I said I'm fine." He was happy that Zell seemed to care, though.

"Seifer-" He looked sadly at Seifer.

"I don't want you pity," Seifer sneered, crossing his arms.

"It's not pity, dammit. I'm just... worried about you, man," the tattooed man admitted.

"Whatever. I said I'm fine."

"Look, Seifer. You can talk to me... I know we never were really the best of friends, but we are friends now." Zell placed a comforting hand on Seifer's shoulder, causing the latter to freeze.

"Yeah. But I'm fine," he said again, loving the touch. "I'm gonna head out. I'll see you later." With that, he stalked off, not waiting for Zell to reply.

"Seifer! Wait!" But he didn't listen.

Seifer wonder the halls back to his room when he heard a voice sneer from behind him.

"Hello, lapdog. I'm surprised to see you out here."

Seifer swallowed hard, hoping they would just go away. "What's the matter? Not gonna talk to me?" he laughed.

"W-what do you want?" Seifer finally asked, backing up.

"Hm. Nothing. I see you're doing better, though." His eyes roved over Seifer's body, remembering the last time. He walked closer, making Seifer back up into a wall. "What?"

"L-leave me alone," Seifer said, feeling panic.

"Nope. Don't think I will," the guy grinned evilly. "You don't belong here. I will make you see that."

The blond flinched when a hand touched his face. "All the pain you put lots of people through, I will make you feel that."

Seifer was punched in the gut. He gasped, holding his stomach. He involuntarily let out a whimper. "S-stop." He cried out when his arm was twisted. 'Zell..' was the only thought that played in his mind. He wanted Zell.

He yanked Seifer away from the wall, punching him square in the jaw. Then, as Seifer was on the ground, bleeding, most likely a broken jaw, the guy pulled out a knife. Seifer's eyes went wide and he tried to get up, but to no avail. The guy kicked him hard in the ribs. He laughed and lowered himself onto Seifer, knife in hand. "Now, hold still." Without warning, he jabbed the knife into his side.

Seifer gasped. Again, deeper, the knife went into him. He screamed out in agony. Tears were coming out of his eyes. He heard laughter, then his world went black.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Okay, I was just doodling with my writing and everything, and I came up with this. I don't know if it's any good, but here it is. Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Through Pain And Tears

**Chapters:** 2  
**Pairing:** ZellxSeifer  
**Rated:** M  
**Warnings:** Yaoi, sexual assault, abuse, violence, self-harm, rape, consensual (Later), OOC  
**Disclaimer: **I Don't own Final Fantasy VIII. It belongs to Square Enix  
**Summary:** Ever since Seifer got back, he's been depressed and lonely. Some people aren't happy that he's returned. Will there be any hope for the tall blond? Can anyone help Seifer?  
**Word Count:** 3,325  
**Author's Notes:** Well, here's another chapter. I finally finished this chapter after a little bit of struggling with it. Well, I hope you enjoy!

Oh, and a friend, LilithIllyria helped give me this idea. So I thank her for the help. :)

And also, thank you to my first 2 reviewers, **Cindy** and **TheDarkShaolin**. I'm glad you liked the first chapter. I hope you like this one as well.

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

After Seifer had left the training center, Zell decided that he wanted to talk to the other man, find out what's been going on with him lately. He knew Seifer must feel weak considering what had happened to him a couple weeks ago. The shorter man knew that Seifer's pride was struck when this happened. Pride was one of the things that Seifer valued most in himself. But that was gone now, leaving this Seifer as a result of that. Zell was still fuming over what had occurred.

Who does that shit? Four on one? That was fucking cowardly, if Zell said so himself. Then again, he knew there were people here who were far less happy about the taller blond's rerun. But that doesn't give anyone the right to do this shit to him.

Regardless, Seifer's pride must have been gone for a good while. Because when he got back, he was not himself. There was something... off about him when he returned. Zell knew he was feeling guilty and was ashamed of what happened; it showed on his face. He hated seeing Seifer like this. Seifer—the once proud man, keeping to himself and not associating much. It wasn't like him.

Zell's ears perked up when he heard a noise and frowned. The hell was that? His curiosity getting the better of him, he went towards the noise. In the halls, it was relatively quietly, except for the noise he heard. It was unusual. There was usually no one out here at this time of night, so it confused the short blond.

Getting to a corner, he rounded it and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight that greeted him. Shock and worry laced his cute face. His eyes wide, mouth hung open, gasping. There, lying on the cold ground, was Seifer. He looked like he was in pain and to Zell's horror, he could see blood, and he knew that Seifer must have been hurt pretty badly. "Seifer?!" Zell ran to his side in record time, kneeling down beside the injured man.

Breathing hard, Seifer opened his eyes at the voice. "Z-Zell?"

"Hyne Seifer. What the fuck happened?" Zell's voice was pitched higher than he realized.

"Nothing." Seifer groaned and tried to sit up, only gasping in pain when he did. He sides and stomach hurt like hell.

"Like hell, Seifer! You're bleeding..." Zell trailed off in his anger when he saw Seifer's stomach. The gash was pretty big actually. He helped the other man up, wincing himself when he heard Seifer loud out a moan of pain.

"W-what are you doing out here?" Seifer managed to ask, holding his sides. "I—I thought you went back to your room.

"That's what I should be asking you," the shorter man said, slinging his arm gently around Seifer's waist. "And I was going to, but I decided to come look for you."

"Why?" Seifer asked, trying to stand up better.

"I wanted to talk to you. See you how were," he admitted. "Here, let's get you to the infirmary."

"No!"

"You need to get this looked at!"

"I'm not going. I'll be okay," he told him, frowning.

"Hyne, Seifer. You're bleeding and you got a big fucking gash in your stomach..."

"Zell... I don't... I can't..." Seifer stopped himself. "Please..."

"Seifer..." Zell frowned. "Fine, stubborn ass. But I'm taking you to my room. You'll stay there for a while."

This caused Seifer's eyes to go wide. "What?"

"I'm not leaving you alone, Seifer. You can't take care of yourself right now, and since you refuse to go to the infirmary, I'll have to take care of you. That wound needs healed." Zell said this in a tone that left no room for arguments.

"Zell..." Seifer was at a loss for words. Why would Zell do this for him? "Okay."

Zell nodded and led Seifer to his room. As soon as they got to Zell's room, he typed in the code and ushered the taller man in first. He led him over to the bed. "Okay. I'm gonna cats curaga on you. Just relax."

Seifer lied back, taking in a deep breath as Zell worked his magic on his wound. It hurt like hell, that much was certain. And the healing made it hurt worse. He grabbed the blankets in a tight grip, waiting for Zell to finish.

After Zell was done, he turned to the other blond and smiled. "All done. Howya feelin' now?"

Seifer sat up and stretched his long legs. "Better," he decided.

"How did this happen?" He sat next to Seifer.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Seifer turned his face away.

"This is the second time in two weeks, Seifer. Who the fuck is doing this?" Zell demanded, growing furious.

"Why do you care?" Seifer snapped back. "It's none of your business. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah. Like you were doing back there?" Zell reiterated, glaring. "It is my business when I find you like that."

"Whatever," he hissed.

"Seifer, I'm just trying to help you."

Seifer sighed and looked away. "I know. But I'm okay now. Can we just go to sleep?"

Seeing the look Seifer was giving him, he nodded his head. "Okay. You can take the bed."

"What?" Seifer's head snapped up to face Zell's. "I can't do that. I can take the couch."

"Nonsense, Seifer..." Zell gave him a look, letting him know that arguing with him would be completely pointless. "You're injured. It won't kill me to take the couch."

Seifer opened his mouth to further protest this, but snapped it shut, sighing. "Fine."

He smiled in victory. "Alright." Seifer lied back down and watched as Zell got his blanket and a pillow. "Goodnight, Seifer."

"Night, Zell."

* * *

"Zell, you really don't need to do this," Seifer said the next day as Zell made breakfast. They were both sitting in his room, eating.

Zell sighed. "I wanted to, Seifer."

"But what I don't understand is; why? I mean, I always use to pick on you and tease you," Seifer gave him a confused look.

"Seifer," Zell said in exasperation. "I just wanted to help you." It was an honest reply.

Seifer frowned in return, still not getting why the shorter male would do this for him. He sighed, narrowed his jade eyes and nodded.

"Seifer?"

"Hm?" Seifer looked up at him, feeling his stomach flip at the obvious concern Zell was showing for him. He never had someone look at him in such a way—and the fact that it was Zell—well, it made the feeling intensify.

"Are you feeling any better?"

Seifer nodded, though it was a little distracted. "Yes. I'm fine, Zell." The smile that Zell shot him made his cheeks flush. He hid it by looking down at his food.

"Seifer... you should say something to someone," Zell spoke up, looking directly at Seifer with lovely blue eyes.

"I can't. There's no need. I don't need to bother them with my damn problems," he stated, shaking his head.

"Bullshit, Seifer. I know you don't believe that. You're not bothering anyone. We need to know who's doing this to you." Zell gave him a look like he was crazy. Why would the taller man even think something like that? It was ridiculous.

All this earned him was an odd look from the scarred boy. "Zell, really, I'm fine."

"What happened the first time?" He had been rather curious to know. Seifer had never said anything to him about it before.

"Just got attacked. That's it. Nothing more," He shrugged his broad shoulders, not willing to let anything more be said about what really happened that night. He still didn't like to talk about it. And he didn't want the others knowing either. What would they think?

Zell, who was curious, obviously doubted that. "Fine." Damn Seifer was too stubborn. He would find out, though. It was just a matter of time. Though, he knew Seifer didn't open up willingly; you had to pry shit out of the other man. Before Zell could say anymore, there was a knock on his door. Frowning, he got up with a "I'll be right back," to Seifer, who only nodded to him.

"Zelly!" chirped that annoying voice Seifer hated. He glared at the table.

"Hi, Marlene," Zell greeted, kissing her cheek. Seifer, however, happen to take a peek to see what was happening, and had a sudden surge of jealousy rise through his veins. Even more so when she pulled him back and gave him a kiss on the lips. Seifer sucked in a sharp breath. He shouldn't be here. He was possibly going to ruin things for Zell.

"Hey, honey," she cooed. "What are you up to now?"

Zell fidgeted slightly. "Not much. I was just eating breakfast. Why are you here this early? I thought you had a class."

"Oh, I did. But, I chose to not go today. I wanted to spend the day with you." She grinned at him, winking.

The martial arts loving boy gave a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck. "Ah, well..."

"Is there something wrong, Zell?" Marlene asked, narrowing her sapphire eyes.

"What? No.. no there's nothing wrong."

She looked at him for a moment, then walked into his room. "Marlene."

She took a look at the tall blond sitting at the table. "What's he doing here?" She tried to could control her rage.

"Oh that? Well, I said he could stay here for a while... you see..."

"Zell! Why would you want him to stay here?" She glared at her boyfriend, telling him that she did not like the fact that Seifer Almasy was staying in her boyfriends' dorm. "He's got his own room."

"I know that, babe.. but-"

"I don't want to here it." She sent a glare to Seifer, who simply returned it, not fazed by her in the slightest. "I'm going out. I will talk to you later, Zell." She turned and walked out, slamming the door shut behind her.

Zell sighed, aggravated. "Damn." He knew why she didn't like Seifer—he was the Sorceress's Knight after all, but still.. they had forgiven hm. Though, he knew some people weren't happy with his appearance. But, there was more to why she didn't like Seifer than he knew.

Seifer stood up and walked over to him. "I'm sorry, Zell. Maybe I should just-"

"No! Don't even think it Almasy. You are staying here," he said firmly.

"But, I don't want you to lose her over me. I'm not worth that," the taller of the two told him.

Zell's eyes flared. "Seifer. I don't care what you say. You are staying here. She will just have to get over it."

The shock was on the bigger mans' face. He only nodded. "She really hates me."

"Yeah. But this isn't her decision to make."

"I know," the gunblader replied. The rest of the morning was filled with silence from both boys. Both having things on their minds, but neither knowing what the other was thinking.

* * *

"Zelly! Do you wanna go do something?" His girlfriend had an arm around him, causing the others to roll their eyes.

He looked down at her and slowly nodded his head. "Sure. What did ya want to do?"

"Hm.." She gave him a big smile. "How about a movie at my dorm?"

He thought about it for a second. It couldn't hurt to go to her dorm for a while. Plus, it wasn't like he had anything else to do tonight. And Seifer should be fine. "Sure. What movie are we going to watch?"

"Well, I don't know yet. But I did rent some good ones when I went into town today. I think you might like them."

"Ohh. Okay. That's fine." Zell nodded to her, agreeing.

"You know, that's not such a bad idea. Why don't we do something, Squall?" Irvine ask, grinning, causing said man to roll his gray blue eye.

"Hn."

"Aww, Squally." That earned him a heated glare from the latter in annoyance.

"Irvine," he warned, crossing his arms over his well built chest. "I have work I need to do, anyway."

"So? You can do it later. I think it would do you some good going out. Instead of being cooped up here in garden." Selphie piped in in Irvine's defense. Plus, she had a point; Squall needed to socialize more than he did. Though he wasn't as bad as before, he still stay in more than anything. Mostly working. He worked too damn much.

He shot her a glare."Fine," he relented, only for the sake of shutting the lot up. While he knew that they had a point, he was fine. So what he liked staying in. Was that such a problem? Well, apparently it was for them.

Irvine grinned toothily at him, slinging an arm around the annoyed gunbladist. "Aw. We will have fun."

Squall rolled his eyes and shook off the gunmans arms. "Whatever."

"Don't be like that, darlin'."

"Irvine, don't called me that. Again," Squall hissed.

He just laughed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Okay. Okay."

"Oh, Squally. Lighten up!" Selphie grinned at him.

"Hn.." was his only reply to that, frowning.

"Okay. I know what we can do tonight," Irvine declared. "We can go to this club tonight and do some dancing. What do you think?"

"Oh! That sounds fun. I might tag along," Selphie interjected, smiling widening. She loved to party. And she loved to go to dance clubs. She considered herself a good dancer.

Squall shook his head. "Why?"

"I don't know. It sounds like fun." The hat wearing boy smiled a charming smile. There really isn't anything else to do either."

"I see," was all the antisocial boy said. He really hated crowed places. He tried to avoid them whenever possible. But, he highly doubted he'd get out of this one. He had already agreed to do something with that cowboy. Sighing, Squall pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Do you think Seifer would like to go with us?" Irvine suddenly asked, startling to whole group.

Squall blinked then shrugged. "I don't know."

"Um, I don't know, Irvine. Last time I seen him he was pretty tired," Zell tried, remembering Seifer not wanting him to say anything.

"Hm..."

"Well, we could try and ask him?" the chirpy girl piped up, nodding. "He seems like he needs it, too. I mean, after what happened..." They left that hanging in the air for several short moments.

Zell's jaw clenched at the remembrance of finding Seifer lying on the ground bleeding. He highly, highly doubted that Seifer would be up for going out anywhere tonight. "Yeah." Zell opted for saying, instead of saying the reason why Seifer probably wouldn't want to go out.

Zell's girlfriend sighed. "Zell, let's go get something to eat." she offered. She hated hearing Seifer's name being brought up, it only served to escalate her anger more. Marlene didn't even like hearing his name.

"Huh?" Her voice startled him because he was talking to his friends. "I'm sorry. What were you saying?" he sheepishly asked, seeing the look she was giving him.

"I said let's go get something to eat. I'm hungry."

"Oh." The boy nodded his head. "Okay. Well, See ya later!" He waved to the group just before his girlfriend dragged him off.

"Why do you suppose he's with her?" the hyper girl inquired, genuinely wanting to know. There was something about that Marlene that she didn't like...

The group shrugged in unison. "I don't know, Selph. I really don't. Maybe he loves her?" Irvine said, looking thoughtful. He really didn't know.

"Hmm." The brunet girl looked thoughtful herself.

"Soo, who's gonna ask, Seifer?" Irvine questioned, lifting his hat a little off of his eyes, as it was sliding down a little.

"Ask Seifer what?" came a new but not unwanted voice.

"Seifer!" Selphie grinned, jumping up to hug him, making him groan a little, as he was still in some pain, though it wasn't as bad as it was. "Where did you come from?"

"Training center," he replied, shrugging.

"Oh." she sat back down, as did the taller blond.

"Howdy, Seifer." Irvine tipped his hat in greeting.

"Hi, Irvine. Now, what was it you was going to me?" he asked again, having realized he still hadn't received a response yet.

"Oh that? Well, Squall and I were gonna out tonight. And we were wondering if you'd like to go to?" the auburn haired man asked, sitting up strait.

Seifer looked shocked for a moment. "Uh, no.. not really. I kinda just wanted to stay in."

"Aw, Seifer. You need to get out, too.. I mean.. after what happened-" He abruptly cut her off before she could say anymore.

"I said I don't want to, Selphie." He really hated when they brought that shit up. He didn't wanna fucking mention what happened to him them. He wanted to move passed it; forget it ever even happened. "I think I'll just stay in."

She pouted and folded her arms.

Squall observed him. "You alright?"

Seifer eyed him back. "I'm fine. Just tired." he admitted, but that was only partially true.

"Alright, Seif." Irvine nodded to him, frowning.

Seifer scowled at that. "Whatever."

Squall shook his head.

"What are you gonna do tonight?" Her question was directed at Seifer.

The blond shrugged. "I don't. Just watch tv or go to the training center." He'd probably just stay in the dorm.

"Aw well, that's no fun." she said giving him a pouty look.

All he did was shrug. He didn't give a shit. He just wanted to relax. "I'm gonna get going." Seifer announced when he was finished eating.

"Okay."

"See you later, Seifer," Irvine said next, grinning to the other man.

"Yeah, sure." With that, he walked off, not looking back.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Well, what do you think? Is it good? I kinda struggled there for a little bit when I was halfway through it. Then I thought of this. Well, anyway, I hope you like this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Through Pain And Tears

**Chapters:** 3  
**Pairing:** ZellxSeifer  
**Rated:** M  
**Warnings:** Yaoi, sexual assault, abuse, violence, rape, consensual (Later), OOC  
**Disclaimer: **I Don't own Final Fantasy VIII. It belongs to Square Enix  
**Summary:** Ever since Seifer got back, he's been depressed and lonely. Some people aren't happy that he's returned. Will there be any hope for the tall blond? Can anyone help Seifer?  
**Word Count:** 3,320  
**Author's Notes:** Well, here you go! I finally have another chapter finished! I hope it's not too bad.. I just thought of this and decided to write it. Please read and review!

**To reviewer- **Thank you for your last review! I am glad you liked it. I hope you like this chapter as well!

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

"Hey, Seifer..." said a soft voice, causing said man to be startled, as he was lost in his head, not really paying attention to what was around him at the moment. Though, he'd been like that an awful lot lately, Zell noticed with a worried frown. It was getting around the time for him to head to his girlfriends' dorm, so he was in the midst of getting ready to head there. He had on a loose blue shirt, a stripe in the middle of it, and a nice pair of blue jeans. His hair was sliced back a little, making it where it's not in his face. He hate having hair in his eyes all the time, so he found himself doing that a lot of the time.

"Hey, Zell," Seifer replied, now noticing that the shorter blond looked like he was ready to go out somewhere. "Are you going out somewhere?" He eyed the other man, giving him a once over. He did look very nice though, Seifer admitted to himself. Which he really did. He loved them pants on Zell, they made him look great. Then again, everything Dincht wears looks good to the blond gunbladist. "You look all dressed up."

"Huh? Oh.. that? Yeah. See, Marlene invited me to her place tonight to watch movies," Zell answered with a smile to Seifer, who tried in vain to not say anything that he would regret later.

"Oh.. I see.." Seifer wasn't happy that he was going over to his girlfriends' place, and he frowned. He wanted the other man to stay here with him, but he wouldn't say anything out loud to him, make himself look like a fucking wuss. He really hated his girlfriend; he couldn't stand the bitch. "When? I mean what time are you going over there?" He was looking intently at the other man, making the other man give him a curious look. And maybe worried? Seifer had no idea what Zell must be thinking inside that head of his. And as much as he would like to know, he refrained from asking him anything, finding if he wanted to talk to him, then he would.

He knew he was jealous that Zell was going to be spending time with her.. Seifer didn't really wanna even think her name right now, finding it made him sick. Seifer couldn't help the feelings of jealousy he was having. The man he loved was spending time with his girlfriend and he hated that. Fuck, he hated the fact that he was dating her. He had never told the martial artist this, though, finding it was a waste of time, especially since he was seeing someone else; someone he loved.. that thought made Seifer inwardly sigh sadly. Love? Yeah, that stung Seifer; stung him to think that he loved this girl. H was looking to Zell, waiting for an answer. He saw him giving him a weird look, and he turned his face away.

"Hm," Seifer turned to him, quirking an eyebrow. "In a little bit," he finally answered, scratching the back of his neck and shrugging. "Like, in ten minutes I'll be leavin.'" He observed the expressions on the other mans' face, but not quite able to tell what they were. He couldn't read Seifer; he was a hard man to read. He had a good poker face. After what happened to Seifer, Zell was actually reluctant to leave him alone. Why exactly? Well, he honestly didn't know. He just knew he was. He was actually questioning himself on that. Why did he care so much? Well, the younger man knew he cared for the Ex-Knight. But why did he care this much? He eyed him for another moment, still trying to find something—anything that might give away to what Seifer was thinking and feeling. But coming up with nothing, he sighed slightly.

"Ahh.." was all he could say.

"I could stay in.. you know, if you wanted me to?" Zell suddenly blurted out, internally cursing himself for it. The hell did he say that for? For one; he had already told Marlene that he'd come over to her place, and for two; Seifer appeared to be fine.. at least by appearance wise, Zell noted. He saw Seifer giving him a weird look, as if saying, 'what the fuck?' Well, he could see the question on the other blonds' face.

The other man shook his head. "Nah. You should go. Besides, she's already expecting you. I'll be fine." His question had shocked Seifer, though. Why would he ask that? Did he care about the other man that much... to cancel his date? Seifer's heart speed up at the thought of Zell really caring that much about him, and it made his stomach flip. Dammit. Why does this have to happen? Him falling for a guy who's already taken. When he would see the look of concern on the tattooed mans' face, he felt touched, and his heart would skip a beat. He couldn't help but feel this way, though. Hell, it wasn't very often someone would show him such concern, so he liked it—especially from Zell. He leaned back on the couch and gave him a small smile.

"Are you sure?" he asked to just to be sure. "I mean, I can always cancel." He didn't understand what was making him act so concerned, but just knew he was and wanted to make sure Seifer was fine... especially after what had happened to him. He quickly shook that though away, finding it just made him angry again.

But again he shook his head. "Dincht. I said I'll be fine." He rolled his eyes, but secretly loved Zell's concern and appreciated it. "Just go. Have fun."

"Alright," he relented, seeing Seifer insisted that he go out. "Okay. I'll see ya when I get back. I'll lock the door on my way out."

All he got was a nod in return, letting him know the other heard him. "Okay. Bye." He waved.

Seifer gave a half-assed waved in return, but apparently Zell didn't noticed, as he walked out the door a moment later, shutting it softly behind him. When he was gone, Seifer frowned. What should he do now? Well, there really wasn't much to do in Zell's room. He sighed. Now with Zell gone it was quiet in here. Suddenly he missed Zell's presence. He always loved the other mans' presence, though, finding himself wanting it.

Just the thought that he was with his girlfriend brought Seifer into his jealousy. He hated the feeling of jealousy, but knew nothing could be done about it. Seifer decided to get up and go get some food from the cafeteria. There was still time before they closed down. So, with that though, he walked out of the room.

* * *

Squall walked along the halls. He was supposed to meet Irvine at the gates in a little bit. He just finished getting ready. He was wearing hip hugging leather pants, give a perfect view of his figure. His shirt was a little tight, black, tank top. He looked rather sexy in this ensemble. Irvine had seen what he was wearing and also liked it.. maybe a little too much in Squall opinion. Squall scoffed. That damn cowboy and his flirtatious ways. He knew what the other man was like, so it didn't surprise him. He'd just roll his eyes at it, knowing what a flirt he was.

He didn't really have a desire to go out tonight, but knew his friends' were persistent about it. He knew any arguments he would give over the matter would be futile.. completely pointless. They all thought he needed to get out more. Squall himself thought he was fine. He enjoyed his solitude. He enjoyed staying in. He had never been one for going out, really. He was the kind of man who just liked staying in and enjoy his alone time when he got it. He couldn't help that's how he was. His friends saw it differently, though. They were always trying to include him in their outings, no matter how much he would protest.

Well, he would admit, he did enjoy it every once in a while. But they seemed to like to go out all the time. "Squall?" That voice broke him of his inner musings. He turned to face the voice, shocked to see a tall blond standing there.

"Seifer? What are you doing out here?"

"Just thought I'd wonder around. Maybe get myself some food."

The brunet nodded.

"What are you doing? Aren't you suppose to be going out with that cowboy?" Seifer inquired, cocking his head to the side.

"I am," he admitted, frowning. "I have a few minutes. Besides, I just finished getting ready."

"You're wearing that?"

"Yes."

Seifer observed him. He had to admit, Squall was very attractive. And what he was wearing added to that. He was wearing something that made his figure better. He had always known the anti social boy was good looking; he did have eyes. He nodded to him, still looking Squall up and down, which the other man took notice of.

"What?" He looked himself over, trying to see if there was something on him. Seeing nothing, he looked back up to the tall blond, raising a brow.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Nice outfit."

"Thanks." The anti social boy eyed him.

"Where are you suppose to meet him at?" he decided to ask to strike up a small conversation. Shit. Wasn't like he as busy or anything.

"Outside the gates," he answered, pointing in that direction. He frowned.

"Ah. I still can't believe you agreed to go out with him," Seifer chuckled and shook his head.

"Don't remind me," Squall scoffed. "I still regret it."

The other nodded. "I can tell. Why did you agree to it anyway?"

The shorter man shrugged. "I don't know. To get them off my back."

"Hmm." Seifer nodded. "Yeah. They're persistent when they want to be. I know Selphie is at least. That girl can get you to do pretty much anything."

The other gunblade wielder nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it. I'm only doing this to shut them up."

"I can see you doing that," Seifer agreed. Squall was the type to do something just to shut someone up... especially people like Selphie, who wouldn't give up until she got her way. But that's just how the small girl was. They had known that. "You know, you could have just said no and locked yourself in your room," Seifer grinned.

Squall made a face. "You actually think that would work?"

Seifer laughed, a sound Squall hadn't heard in a long time from the taller man. "Knowing Selpie? Nah, it probably wouldn't." He enjoyed talking like this with his fellow gunblader. He actually couldn't recall a single time when he and Commander Leonahrt actually spoke like this before. He found it refreshing and it also helped clear his mind a little from unwanted thoughts. But, he knew that this wouldn't last. Squall would leave, then he would be with his thoughts once more. That thought made him frown, gaining a curious frown from the other man.

"You alright, Seifer?"

"Yeah," he answered, nodding. "Just thinking about the last time we actually spoke like this with each other.."

"Hn. I don't think there was a time when we did." Squall knew there hadn't been, so he found it nice as well. Better than always dueling with their gunblades. They had grown passed that. Though, they still had their spars every once in a while.

"I know. You should probably go meet with your date. He's probably going to think you stood him up."

Squall gave a wide eyed look to Seifer. "I-it's not date. He's just dragging me out with him."

Seifer smirked a little. "Uh huh."

Squall glared at him. "It's not... whatever." He gave up, sighing.

"Okay."

"I'll see you later."

"Yeah," Seifer nodded his head, watching Squall walk away to meet with Irvine. Sighing, Seifer decided to get himself some food.

* * *

"Zelly!" His girlfriend said, which was high pitched. "How about this one next?"

Zell eyed it and then shook his head. "I saw that one already. I hated it.. He dies at the end. You know I hate sad endings."

She frowned. Actually, she didn't know this piece of information. Should she have known? How come she hadn't known this? Her and Zell had been together for a while, you would think she'd know that about him. "Yeah," Marlene settled for saying, not wanting to say she hadn't known. She sighed and continued looking through the pile of movies on her table. They had already watched one, now they were looking for another one to watch.

Marlene was enjoying her time with her boyfriend. She loved having him over anytime she could, loved going out with him to places, love being around him in general. "Oh! How about this one?" She showed it to him and again he shook his head.

"Nah. I don't like the one either. The plot sucked." Zell's mind was fully on the evening with her. His mind would trail back to Seifer and what he was doing.

"Zell... this is the seventh movie I suggested and you shot down every single one of them." She eyed him for a moment. "Is there something wrong?"

"No. Why would you ask that?"

She gave him a look. "You just seem like something is bothering you..." she trailed off, staring at him with a thoughtful look on her face. "Do you not want to be here?"

"No.. it's not that, Marlene-"

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know," he sighed.

"What's wrong?" She wanted to know, though she did have a suspicion at what be going on with him.. a reason she was usually on edge.

"Nothin..."

"Don't lie to me, Zell," she glared. "I know it's something." She thought for a moment. "Zell?"

"Really, nothing is wrong," he tried to assure her.

She didn't believe him. "Is it Seifer?"

"Is what Seifer?"

"Are you thinking about him?" she asked him, a frown on her face. She new that he often talked about the other man, and she hated it. He should talk about her.. not about that asshole.

"..Yeah," Zell admitted. "I can't help but wonder if he's alright."

"Who cares?" she said before she could stop herself.

Zell whipped his head up and stared at her. "Who cares?" he echoed, not believing she had actually said that, thought he knew she didn't like Seifer, but that was still wrong to say that, too. She hated him and knew it was his own fault that it had happened. He got what was coming to him. She was glad it happened. That fucking bastard deserved whatever came his way. He deserved more. And if she had it here way, he would have never been let back into garden. She still didn't understand how Squall could admit him back in. They were doing fine without him.

"How can you say that?" He managed to glare at her for saying such a mean thing about the man. He hated when she would talk about him like that; like he didn't matter. That wasn't true; he did matter.

"It's true," the red headed girl stated simply, shrugging. "He got what he deserves."

Zell's mouth hung open. "How dare you say that about him!" Zell burst out, finally losing all patience with her. Sure she was his girlfriend, but Seifer was a friend of his, and he didn't deserve that—didn't deserve to be talked about so badly either. Seifer was a good guy, who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn't deserve this kind of treatment. And just because she as his girlfriend, didn't mean she had the right to say that shit.

She looked stunned, eyes wide. "W-what? I'm just saying it like it is."

"You don't know him," he started, "I do. We all do. That's why we forgave him and why Squall took him back. We understand what happened back then, you don't. You don't know shit about him, Marlene. You have not right to talk so badly of him when you don't even know him. You don't understand what he went through.'

"I Understand he's a fucking traitor," she snapped out, crossing her arms, believing herself to be right.

He shook his head. "You can't say that without knowing what really happened back then. You wasn't there with us. You can't say shit about something you know nothing about!"

She huffed. "Whatever."

"I don't know why you can't understand that," the young man told her, sighing sadly. "He's not a bad guy."

"He tried to kill us," she pointed out with a glare.

"He wasn't in his right mind." Zell was getting tired of explaining this to her. She wouldn't—couldn't fucking understand. So why try? She was just believe what she wanted, Zell realized this. "You wouldn't understand. He's not a bad guy, you know."

She glared at him some more. There was more reasons as to why she hated that man, but didn't wanna say anything to him about it. She didn't want him to know.

"You know what? I think I should just leave for the night," the blond told her, standing up.

"Why?" she asked, also standing up, walking over to him.

"Because, I need to cool off, Marlene," he said this with a sigh, looking suddenly tired. He was upset about what she said, and wanted to get out before he said something that hurt her feelings. He didn't like her saying things about him and it made him angry. He needed to relieve some pent up frustrations on something.

"All this worked up over him?" Marlene asked, shaking her head. "I don't know why, though."

"That's right. You don't understand it.," he said, giving her a look, to which she just stared back, defiantly. "I don't think you will either. I'll see ya later, Mar." He walked out of her room, not even glancing back when he did. If he had, he would have seen a rage in her eyes. He left her to her thoughts.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Here's another update! I hope it isn't bad.. I just thought of this and it took me a few hours to write. I hope you enjoy it! Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Through Pain And Tears

**Chapters:** 4

**Pairing:** ZellxSeifer, Maybe IrvinexSquall

**Rated:** M

**Warnings:** Yaoi, sexual assault, abuse, violence, rape, consensual (Later), OOC

**Disclaimer:** I Don't own Final Fantasy VIII. It belongs to Square Enix

**Summary:** Ever since Seifer got back, he's been depressed and lonely. Some people aren't happy that he's returned. Will there be any hope for the tall blond? Can anyone help Seifer?

**Author's Notes: **Thanks again for my loyal reviewer, **Cindy.** I am glad you like this story so far. :) And the action will happen soon. And I know, I'm waiting for that day, too. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

And thanks to my other reviewer. I'm glad you like my writing. And yeah, you're right, Seifer is powerful.. but you know, after the war. he feels guilty, and feels as though it's what he deserves. So, he doesn't bother saying anything. :)

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

"You're back early," Seifer noted as he saw Zell walking inside and shutting the door loudly behind him. He got a look at the other mans' face and knew instantly that he was angry. What would Zell be angry about? Did he have a fight with his girlfriend? Many thoughts ran through his mind, be he didn't vocalize any of them. His anger was obvious by the look on his face. What had happened in his girlfriend's room that had Zell looking so mad?

"Yeah.." he trialed off, still fuming over the conversation he had with her. He couldn't believe how she could say such a thing about Seifer. He didn't fucking deserve any of what's happened to him. He frowned. He'd been trying to get his mind off of it, but it was hard. What she said had really made him mad. He clenched his fists and let out a sigh. He just couldn't explain his anger. Why was he reacting this way? Why was he so defensive of the taller man, who he noticed was looking at him with an eyebrow arched.

"You okay?" the taller man asked, giving him a concerned look. He wondered what had Zell so angry. He'd never really seen the other man so mad before. Sure, he'd bullied and teased him all the time, but he never saw him looking this angry. He observed the angry man, cocking his head to the side, while looking at him.

"I'm fine," Zell waved off, brow creasing in his anger. It was obvious the other man was not okay. Seifer didn't like to pry, but this was Zell, and he didn't like to see Zell upset. Zell didn't want to bring Seifer into his relationship problems, not when he had his own problems to deal with, problems worse than Zell's own. He really didn't want to mention to Seifer what had happened back in his girlfriend's dorm. He didn't wanna make Seifer have anymore problems than he already had. Not if Zell could help it.

"Right," Seifer said, not believing him in the least. Because, well, it was damn obvious—to him anyway, that Zell was angry, what with the looks he was giving. He gave the other a look, telling him that he didn't believe him.

"It's nothin' Seifer." Zell went into the kitchen and got himself a drink. He was starting to feel slightly better now that he was back in his own dorm. He took a big drink, downing it in one big gulp, setting the cup down, wiping at his mouth.

"Zell, what's wrong?" the Ex-Knight asked, a look of concern on his handsome face. He wanted to know what was bothering the other man. Hell, his problems didn't seem to matter to him when Zell was concerned. Zell was more important. It didn't matter what had happened to him, something was obviously bothering the shorter man, and he wanted to know, forgetting about his own issues at the moment. Only Zell mattered.

"Really, I'm fine.." he trailed off when he saw Seifer giving him that stare, a stare that told him that Seifer's care was genuine. He sighed, raking a hand through his spiky locks, and frowning. He looked at the other man, who was still watching him, the same look on his face. He really didn't want to say anything, but Seifer seemed determined to get it out of him. Plus, how could he not when Seifer was showing general concern for him, a look he doesn't often get.

"Don't lie to me, Zell. You just came stomping in here, having a fit, slamming the door, and you expect me to believe that nothing's wrong?"

This earned him a sigh. "Plus, you are back early, too. I mean, it's only been what.." He looked at the clock sitting right above the stove, and frowned. "An hour?"

"Fine," Zell relented, seeing that Seifer already knew. He didn't realize he had been back that early. Then again, when he was pissed, he didn't really pay attention to time. He eyed Seifer. Seifer did know him well, more than Zell initially thought he did. He honestly didn't think Seifer payed attention to what he was doing. He furrowed his brow.

"Well?" Seifer probed, trying to get him to talk.

"I had a fight with Marlene," he started, sighing again. He couldn't believe he was actually going to tell him this. But, Seifer seemed to really want to know, so he figured he might as well tell him. What the hell did it matter anyway?

"Oh?" Seifer frowned, but was wondering what the fight was about. What the hell did she do to make him so angry, Seifer scowled, but quickly wiped it off of his face, not wanting Zell to ask any questions that he really didn't want to answer.

"Yeah." Dincht nodded, rubbing his neck.

"What about?"

"Uh, just, you know, things," he said lamely, fidgeting with his shirt for a moment.

"Things?" Seifer echoed. "Like what?"

Zell sighed, not wanting to really say it, but finding Seifer was being persistent. "She just, uh, said something things she shouldn't of," he settled for saying, hoping that would be good enough for the other man.

"Hmm.." Seifer nodded, crossing his arms. "What did she say?"

He silently cursed. "Fine. She said some things about you, things that I didn't like."

Seifer's brows furrowed. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah," was his answer. "And I didn't like what she said, so I decided to leave before I said or did something I woulda regretted later," he finished.

"I kinda guessed she might. After all, I know she doesn't like me, Zell."

"But still, that's not reason to say the shit she did." He didn't know why he was reacting like this. They were just words, so what did it matter? But, it did matter. This was Seifer, so of course it mattered. He just didn't understand to what extent he cared for the other blond.

"I know," Seifer frowned. "So, was that what you were angry about?" Though, he already figured that that had been the reason. Why would Zell get so worked up that he'd leave his date? And just over something his girlfriend said. He didn't understand it.

"Yeah.. it was," he nodded. He smiled at Seifer, who shook his head. "Let's just forget about it," the shorter man suggested. "I don't really want to talk about it anymore."

Seifer knew that it was probably a good idea to let the subject drop, so he found himself nodding in agreement. "Okay."

"I'm gonna head to bed, man.."

"Alright. I'm tired, too. Night Zell."

"Night, Seifer," Zell smiled and walked off to his bedroom, feeling much better than he had when he'd left Marlene's dorm.

Seifer watched him walk away, an odd look passing his features.

* * *

"Yo, blondie."

"Hyne, Irvine," Zell sighed, relaxing as it was his friend. He had just walked up unannounced and spoke up, causing said blond to be startled.

The cowboy laughed. "Sorry, Dincht. Didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't," he lied, frowning.

"Sure," he drawled, smirking. "So.. where's your other half?"

Zell gave him a confused look, brows furrowing.

"Seifer," he explained.

"Oh! He's went to the training center."

"Are you... sure he should he doing that?" Irvine asked, brow arching. He thought Seifer shouldn't really be doing that kinda thing, especially after what's been going on.

"Irvine.. He's fine. Beside, I tried to convince him to not go, but you know how stubborn he is. It's like talking to a brick wall." Zell shrugged his shoulders. He had told Seifer that he really shouldn't—at least not yet go to the training center. Seifer never listened to reason, though. Seifer would do what Seifer wanted. That's how he always was. But, it didn't mean that Zell was happy about it. Damn stubborn bastard, Zell thought with a shake of his head.

"Something on you're mind?"

"No. Something on yours? Zell retaliated with his own question.

"No?" He made it seem like a question, confused as to why Dincht would ask him that.

"Are you sure? Not a certain brunet..?"

"No," he frowned, watching Zell smile.

"Uh huh.." Zell didn't believe him. "So, where is Squall?"

"Oh.. he's in his office, going over mission reports."

"Ahh. Okay." Zell nodded.

"Did you guys have fun on your date?" Zell snickered.

"It's wasn't like that!" Irvine protested, waving his hands. "It was just an outing.. That's all."

"Sure. Irv. Keep telling yourself that.. you might start to believe it." Zell shook his head, giving a slight smirk to the auburn haired man, who was actually blushing.

"I'm serious. We just went out as friends," the other man tried again, trying to get Zell to understand that it was just two friends, just hanging out together. Nothing more that. He kept telling himself this over and over, but something in the back of his mind said differently.

"Hmm..Sure." He still didn't believe it. He'd seen the looks he'd been giving his friend. It wasn't hard to miss. "Irv.. If you like him. It won't bother me."

"But I don't," he denied again, sighing.

"Okay," Zell gave up, also sighing. "If you say so."

Irvine glared at him. Why wouldn't he believe him? Could he tell that Irvine was lying? He didn't think Zell could tell. "So... where's Marlene at?"

"I don't know," Zell shrugged. He wasn't t thinking about her right now. Was that a bad thing? Shouldn't she be on his mind? Well, either way, she wasn't. His thoughts were somewhere else most of the time, and Zell tried to figure out why. He had a girlfriend who should be on his mind, but he knew his thought were not on her. Did that mean anything? He wondered this.

"You don't?"

"No. She is free to do whatever she wants." He knew he should feel something when she goes somewhere without informing him, however, he didn't.

"Hmm..."

"Zelly!" a cry rang out, startling both boys.

"Speak of the devil," Irvine muttered to himself. Zell shot a look to him.

"Hey, Marlene," Zell greeted her, accepting a kiss on his cheek.

"Hi," she said, smiling sweetly at him, sitting beside him.

"Where were you?" Zell decided to ask to just know.

"Around," she supplied as an answer, not delving further on the matter.

"Okay," was all he said to that.

"Hey, Seifer!" Irvine called, seeing a tall blond walking into the cafeteria.

Zell looked up, smiling at him, neither boy seeing Marlene glowering at her food, suddenly not feeling very hungry. Why does he always have to ruin her moods? Why couldn't he just stay away? She always asked herself this.

"Hey, Seifer," Zell also greeted the other man, who nodded at them.

"Hi, guys," Seifer looked around, seeing Zell's girlfriend there, his mood suddenly darkened just by the mere presence of the girl. She was always around, it seemed. Like, she followed Zell everywhere, which Seifer believed she did.

"Sit," Irvine said, nodding to the empty seat.

"Zell.." She turned to face him, trying to smile at him. "I want to know if we can go out tonight?"

Seifer scowled to himself, hoping that nobody noticed. She was doing this on purpose, he accused in his mind, silently fuming.

He shrugged. "I guess." Though, his thoughts trailed back to last night, the fight he had with her. He wasn't looking forward to having another one if she said something, but knowing he'd be compelled to stick up for Seifer. He gave her a look.

"I'm sorry about last night. And I just wanted to make it up to you."

"Sure.." Not seeing Seifer's face when he agreed. If he had, he would of seen hurt, jealousy, anger and hate.

"Good."

The table grew quiet, the tension very noticeable. Seifer was looking at his food, still fuming in his mind.

"Well," the hat wearing boy spoke up first. "I'm gonna go see if Squall is busy." He said this as a way to get away from the heavy tension there.

"Okay. Later, Irvine," the short blond said, nodding to him.

Seifer didn't say anything; he just nodded his head, showing he'd heard him. Irvine saw his look and shook his head. He kind of felt bad for Seifer. He knew Seifer was jealous, it was evident on his face. He walked out of this cafeteria, thinking.

"Uh, well, I'm done. Come on, Zelly. I wanna go to my room to get ready."

"Now?" he asked, quirking a brow. It wasn't even night time yet, why did she want to get ready now? "Um, isn'it kind of early?"

"No," the read head said, shrugging. "I was thinking we could go out early, then maybe later we could just hang out in my dorm." She knew Seifer was in Zell's dorm, and just wanted to keep him away from that idiot. She hated that mad, and didn't want Zell near him, so she was just making this up as she went along.

"Hmm. Sure.. why not? Not like I have anything else to do anyway. Oh, I did need to go into town today anyway. Ma said she wanted me to visit her for a while. I haven't been going over there much. He wouldn't say anything, but she had kept him mostly to herself, always by his side. It was like she wouldn't let him do anything, and it irritated him, but he had never said anything to her about it, though, not wanting to start another fight with her. All they seemed to be doing lately is fighting, and it seemed as though it was mostly over the man sitting in front of them.

"Okay," the girl said, accepting this. Well, at least she was going to spend time with him, and most of all, keep him away from Seifer longer. "That's fine, sweety. I was just thinking we could eat at that new place that just opened up."

"Fine," the blond agreed, making Seifer scowl harder. He hated this. Why was he still sitting here listening to this shit? It was only serving to make him more jealous, and make hi that more mad. Why didn't he just leave, walk away from them?

"Hey, Zell. Hey, Seifer," Squall greeted as he came up to them, but he didn't have any food. They all gave him a questioning look. "Marlene." He finally said to her, barely nodding. "Have you all seen Irvine?"

"Yeah. I have. He said he was going to go to your office," Zell said, looking confused.

"He did?" Squall asked, eyebrows raised. "Well, I haven't seen him." Squall thought about this. "Damn that cowboy." He sighed, shaking his head.

Zell chuckled. "I don't know, man. Why did ya want him for anyway?"

The lithe boy just shrugged. "Well, I just wanted to talk to him about something."

"Oh," Zell asked. "About what?"

"None of your business."

The blond pouted playfully. "Fine. Well, why don't you check his room? Or the Quad?"

"Why would he be in the Quad...? Oh, that's right, he's helping Selphie decorate for the garden festival. Fine. I'll just go look for him."

"Okay. I'll see ya later, man." Zell waved.

"Later, Squall," Seifer finally spoke up, nodding to the other man, who nodded back.

"Bye," he called back, heading out, not even saying anything to the girl.

"What do you suppose he wants with Irvine?" Seifer asked after a while, still looking in the direction where Squall left.

"I don't' know," the boxer shrugged.

"Hmm," Seifer went into thought. "Well, I'm heading off..." He looked only at Zell as he spoke, not sparing a glance the her, not even acknowledging she's there. "I'll see you later, Zell."

"Alright, man. Later." Zell waved and watched Seifer walk off, his girlfriend fuming beside him, which he didn't noticed, opting instead looking at Seifer's retreating back until he was out of eyesight. He looked at her, now seeing her look. "Marlene.. if this is how you're going to be, I don't think we should hang out tonight.'

"What..?"

"You know what? Maybe it's not such a good idea after all," he commented, now fully facing her. "I don't want to have another fight."

"I said I was sorry about that."

"I know," he sighed, rubbing his neck. "But, maybe we need sometime apart for the night? I mean, we have been spending a lot of time together, and it won't hurt.. I just wanted to be by myself tonight, really."

"Oh," she frowned, not liking this idea in the least. She thought they were doing fine. She loved spending a lot of time with him. She found nothing wrong with it. This was all that bastards fault, she seethed. She knew that he was going to stay in and be hanging out with the other blond, which made her blood boil.

"I'm sorry.. just not tonight Marlene. I'm just not really up for it. All right?" Zell sighed and ran a hand through his short, spiky hair. He knew this was a good idea, but from the look on his girlfriend's face, he could very well tell that she wasn't too thrill about it. This would do them some good, and they have been fighting an awful lot. He knew it was because they were spending too much time together. He just wanted to relax tonight.

"Fine,"she huffed.

That just made him frown. "Okay. Well, I have to get going. I'm gonna go see my ma now." He got up, giving her a small smile. "I'll see you later, Mar."

She nodded, not trusting her voice to speak at the moment, knowing that she might say something that would piss him off. She crossed her arms and leaned back, watching him until he was out her her line of sight.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Well, what do you think. I had kind of struggled with the last half of this chapter. The I thought of this. I hope it's good! Oh, I think he's ready to dump her.. just can't say it yet.. It might happen soon, though.. :) Please review! Let me know what you think of this chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** Through Pain And Tears

**Chapters:** 5

**Pairing:** ZellxSeifer, Maybe IrvinexSquall

**Rated:** M

**Warnings:** Yaoi, sexual assault, abuse, violence, rape, consensual (Later), OOC

**Disclaimer:** I Don't own Final Fantasy VIII. It belongs to Square Enix

**Summary:** Ever since Seifer got back, he's been depressed and lonely. Some people aren't happy that he's returned. Will there be any hope for the tall blond? Can anyone help Seifer?

**Author's Notes: **Again, thank you to my loyal reviewer, **Cindy.** I'm glad I'm keeping you interested in my story. I hope you'll like this chapter as well.

Heyy.. Just to let you guys know, currently I have no internet, but I am still working on this story. And I wanted to let you know so you don't think I just stopped writing it.. once I get internet again, I'll start posting. Reviews and comments are always welcome. Thanks.

Please read and review!

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

Zell sighed as he wondered the halls after he left his girlfriend in the cafeteria. He knew she was upset, and he understood it, but he couldn't help how he felt. He was just feeling constricted and needed a break from her for the night. Not that he'd tell her that bit, but what he told her was basically the truth. She was always around him, so he needed time for himself. Hell it had been that way practically since they had started dating.

Wondering the halls, Zell wondered since he had no plans now, what was he going to do tonight? He didn't know. His mind was going over what sounded fun to him. All he could think of was staying inside, or going to the training center, which sounded pretty tempting to Zell. Not only that, but he hadn't been going there too much because of Marlene. He devoted much of his time to her. So, it was refreshing when he found an opportunity to go there.

He knew she liked to keep him all to herself, but there was a limit. As much as he didn't mind that, he did have a life outside of her, and she needed to understand that. Anyway, ever since Seifer had gotten back, it had gotten worse. He didn't know why, but he never brought up that subject, either. He knew she hated the other man, it was evident from the look in her eyes.

"Zell?" A voice snapped him out of hie reverie and he shot his head over to the speaker.

"Hey, Squall," he greeted, giving a nod.

"Hn," Squall nodded. "Where are you going?"

Zell paused to think about that question, because really, he didn't even know. He was just wandering around aimlessly, with no real detonation in mind. "..I don't know." Now that he actually stopped to think about it, he was thinking about going to his room for a little while.

"You're just wandering around?" Squall gave him a skeptical stare.

"Pretty much," the blond said, chuckling more to himself than the other man. "Hey, I thought you were lookin' for Irvine?" He now remembered the brunet gunblader say something about that just a bit ago in the cafeteria.

"I did," Squall said with an easy shrug of his lean shoulder. It was true, he had already seen Irvine. All he wanted was for him to come to his office later and sign some mission reports for Trabia Garden. He had went there a few weeks ago, and Irvine needed to sign the reports for that mission.

"Oh, what was it about?"

"Just needed him to sign a mission report."

"Ahh. Where ya headed now?"

"My office," Squall answered, crossing his arms. There was nothing else for him to do. "Where's Marlene?" Though, Squall asked this in a tone that implied that he didn't really care.

The spiky blond shrugged. "Last I seen her, she was in the cafeteria. I don't know where she is now, though."

"Hm.." the brunet man gave him a glance.

"What?" Zell didn't like that look, it made him feel unnerved. Squall's stares seemed to pierce right through you.

"Nothing," he said, finally looking away. "I just seen her leaving the cafeteria, and she looked pissed." He heard Zell sigh and look down. "What happened?"

"Nothing. She wanted to hang out tonight and I turned her down, but she didn't like it and was upset." Well, it was the truth. He couldn't help that fact that she was mad.

"Why did you turn her down?" he queried, honestly curious. Zell usually spent his time with her, so it confused the lithe boy as to why he rejected her. He'd just never known him to turn her down. They were always together, Squall saw this. Usually he didn't pay attention to such things, but it wad hard to ignore the way Marlene acted around Zell, always wanting his attention.

"I felt that we needed some space for tonight," the blond admitted to his friend, who was looking at ahim with those stormy eyes.

"I see.." was all Squall said. "It was probably for the best."

"Yeah," Zell agreed. "Well, I'm headin' off. I'll catch ya later, man!" He turned around and started walking away.

"Bye, Zell." Squall walked off in his own direction. Irvine should be there shortly anyway.

* * *

"I thought you were going out tonight," Seifer brought up to Zell as he plopped himself down on the couch next him, his knee touching the older blonds'.

"I was," Zell started. "I just decided that we need our space for the night," he shrugged.

"I see.. how did she take it?" He could imagine she was far from pleased about that. Seifer knew how much she liked to spend time with him. In fact, it angered the blond. He hated how she always tried to keep him away from him.

"Not good," he said, confirming Seifer's assumption. "She was upset."

"I bet."

They were silent for a moment, both men trying to figure out something to say. Seifer could imagine the look on the girls' face when Zell told her that. Oh, he knew what Zell was referring to, they spent a lot of their time together, so it was only natural that Zell wanted to spend some time away from her for a little while. Though, he knew she wouldn't be happy about it. That bitch was always taking up his time, it made Seifer sick.

Always watching the display of her latching onto him, snatching him away all the time.

"You okay, Seifer?" He had seen the scowl on the others face and wondered what could have the taller man scowling.

Seifer was wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't even realize he was scowling, so he let up on it and gave a small smile to the man who constantly invaded his thoughts. "Yeah. I'm fine." Which was true, for the most part.

"Hmm. Are you sure?" He asked him again just to be sure. He don't know why he cared so much, but he did. In fact, he was asking himself that a lot, why he cared so much.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he repeated, waving his hand in emphasis. He was always asking himself why Zell seemed to care so much about him. Not that he minded; he didn't. No, he didn't mind at all, in fact, he was touched that he cared.

"Okay," he relented. There was no use pushing the matter. If there was something Seifer wanted to talk about, then he would tell him. "Were you headed somewhere?" He had saw Seifer wearing his shoes, and he usually went without if he was staying in.

"Yes, I was, actually."

"Where?" He was curious now. Where would the gunbladist have to go?

He got a shrug. "I was thinking of going to the training center."

Zell perked up. Now, there was something he could do. He had been looking for something to do tonight since he had canceled his plans with Marlene. Hell, it beat just sitting around doing nothing until he passed out, he mused to himself. He grinned at Seifer, who was now giving him a curious look, brows furrowed.

"Zell?" the taller of the two asked, seeing the grin.

"Mind if I go with you?"

The older blond looked shocked. "Why?"

"I don't wanna sit here and be bored. And, plus, I wanted to get some training in. I haven't really been there much lately, so I figured now would be a good chance."

"Hmm..." Seifer nodded in agreement. "Alright."

"Sweet!" The younger man pumped his fists and jumped up from the couch. Well, least he found something to do.

All the other did was shake his head in amusement, getting up and grabbing his gunblade, strapping it to his belt, motioning for Zell to follow him out.

"You're right, though. I barely see you come in here anymore," Seifer mentioned to him as they entered through the training center's' doors.

"I know," he sighed, rubbing his neck. "It's just.. Marlene... you know what? Let's not talk about it. Okay?"

"Fine by me," was his agreement.

The younger righter grinned. "Wanna spar?"

"Sure," the gunblader nodded, giving a grin in return.

"Ready, Dincht?" Seifer grinned, showing a dazzling smile.

"You're on, Almasy!" He grinned back, getting into a fighting stance. You know, he couldn't remember when he and the taller man had actually spared... it's been a while, actually. So, it's nice to finally be able to do this. He watched as Seifer did the same, holding Hyperion in one hand, pointing it a him. Then, before anymore words could be uttered, they went at each other, Seifer quickly dodging a punch that was aimed at his face.

Seifer wasn't paying too much attention. His focus was on how gracefully the other blond moved, how quickly a fluidly his moves were. He knew he needed to focus, but he was finding it difficult. He aimed his blade, hitting him on the shoulder, which didn't really do anything, as his mind wasn't fully there, and knew Zell picked it up, too.

"What's wrong, Seifer?"

"Nothing," he waved it away, shrugging. He attacked again, but it was easily dodged by the shorter man, who took this opportunity and got him in the side of the head. It wasn't really hard, but the bigger man stumbled back, breathing hard.

Zell noticed him slacking. This was not like Seifer. He always focused and gave his all, but now it didn't seem to be the case. He knew something was going on with the other man, that much was obvious to him. "Seifer? Is there something wrong?"

"Nah," he breathed. He cursed himself. Why couldn't he just focus? He shook his head, resuming their sparing session.

The other knew he was lying, but Seifer didn't seem to want to talk about it, so he let it go. He took a quick jab, catching Seifer by surprise, who stumbled back a few feet. Zell took this opportunity to take his leg and sweep Seifer, making him fall to the ground.

The other blond shook off his surprise and took his own leg, sweeping Dincht off of his, who went down with a startled and surprised yelp. He fell down on top of the other man, who noticed their compromising positions, and his breath hitched. Zell was laying sprawled out on top of him, breathing hard.

They locked eyed for a few, moments, neither knowing what say, and Zell didn't know why he hadn't gotten up yet, after all, he had regained his composure already... so why was he still on Seifer, who had a flushed face. He thought it was from their sparing match.

"Seifer..." He trailed off, still not knowing why he was still there. He knew his own face was flushed at their positions.

"Zell.." Those were the only words spoken. Seifer couldn't handle it anymore. He knew he wanted to kiss Zell, it was too fucking tempting with him laying on top of him, staring at him with this look of confusion. His lips slightly parted.. he just lost it.. fuck it. He leaned forward, confusing Zell even more. Then before anymore could be said, his lips touched the other males, earning him a gasp.

Zell was struck, eyes wide. Seifer was kissing him? He just let his eyes close, kissing him back. He didn't know why this was happening, but he was letting it. The kiss was slow and tentative, unsure, until Seifer slipped his tongue passed Zell's lips. His arms wound around Zell's shoulders, and Zell's found their way around Seifer's upper body.

Seifer was in heaven. Kissing the shorter blond was better than he imagined it would be, and was surprised that he hadn't pushed him away yet, or pulled back in disgust. No, Zell was kissing him back. Like hell he was going to complain.

They pulled apart finally, staring into each other's eyes. "Seifer.. what-" He was staring wide eyed at the other male, finally registering what had happened. But, he wasn't disgusted or freaked out. He felt something else entirely.

"Zell..." Neither knew what to say.

* * *

**A/N:** here you go! I hope you like this chapter. I worked really hard on it.. I will go over mistakes later, right now I'm busy with other things. And they finally kissed :) Please Read and Review! Let me know what you think!


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